5 Marriage Lessons

I Learned The Hard Way So You Don’t Have To


Next week, my wife and I will be celebrating 10 years of marriage.

Each day I'm grateful for her support, compassion and spirit.

Each year we grow together, we learn something new about how to improve our marriage.

Each year our marriage gets stronger, because we listen, learn and love!

Here are 10 lessons we've learnt.

Some were easy, some were hard.

But we tackled them head on, as a team, and we're stronger for it.


The importance of leadership has been a recent lesson learnt for us.

It's also been such an important lesson. It's arguably been the most life changing lesson for us too.

Ultimately, our wives want to feel secure.

They want to know that whatever comes your way, you can handle.

They want to know that whatever needs doing, you will do.

They want to know that any problem that comes your way, you can solve.

That you can lead your family through anything.

I always used to associate leadership with suppression, controlling, almost abusive behaviour.

Boy, was I wrong.

Leadership is protection, guidance, love.

When strong men lead, their families grow stronger.

This year my family and I underwent a radical lifestyle change.

We changed our diets significantly and started exercising regularly.

My wife had tried to achieve this several times before, and we had always relapsed.

It wasn't until I decided I was going to put everything into it, I was going to lead my family through this lifestyle change did it take root in our family.

Because of the leadership I provided and the initiative I took, our family is much healthier than we were last year.


The importance of physical fitness in a marriage is sorely overlooked.

Any marriage, no matter how strong, can be made stronger when the husband and wife take their health and fitness seriously.

Improving my physical fitness has done wonders for my marriage, and many other aspects of my life, which have also improved my marriage.

For starters, my wife is now more physically attracted to me. I've lost fat and built muscle, which hasn't gone unnoticed.

It's improved my confidence, and therefore my leadership too.

It's given me more energy.

It's made me a better father.

It's inspired my kids to exercise.

All these things my wife can see happening.


Never more important than in today's world.

Your marriage must be a team.

A fortress for your shared values and beliefs.

You need to have each other's backs.

You need complete faith in your spouse that they will be by your side no matter what goes down.

This is as much on you as it is them.

You need to be worth going out in a blaze of glory with.

I can confidently say that no matter what happens, my wife will be fighting by my side until the bitter end.

That we will go out in a blaze of glory rather than submit to the evils that attempt to corrupt our family unit.


I'll start this one by saying I've not watched porn during my marriage.

However, the damage porn use before my marriage did to me carried over into my marriage for a long time.

It wasn't until relatively recently had I noticed that certain toxic behaviours of mine were tied to porn use during my teenage years.

It took a profound experience of looking inwards on myself and reflecting on my life experiences and how they shaped me today.

This damage was hurting my marriage and I couldn't connect the dots.

I go into much more detail about it here:


My wife and I do share some interests, but largely, we have very different ideas of what we find interesting.

What makes our marriage strong is that our core values are completely aligned.

Don't limit yourself to someone who likes all the same things you do.

Whilst shared interests are important, they should not be a reason to neglect dating opportunities.

My wife and I are our own people.

This makes the things we do together far more special.

Core values are where a marriage is built and maintained. 'Interests' are only skin deep.

Thanks for reading!

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Look out for 5 MORE LESSONS coming Thursday!